Can someone please remind me that I’m not Super Woman? Or Wonder Woman? Seriously.
I’m due to give birth in three months. And for some reason (money?), I agreed to teach 4 classes this summer. 2 of them end the day before my due date. Seriously, a stupid decision on my part. When I agreed to do it a few months ago, I’d forgotten how tired and sore I get in the third trimester. Ugh. But at least I’ll be able to pay the bills, right?
In other news, I have been haunted by these two lines from a Buddy Wakefield poem:
He wasn’t falling out of love with you.
He was falling out of ways to tell you.
(See “Print Flocking” here)
I’ve written about this before, but there are times when my marriage struggles. Nothing horrible by any means, but most of the time my focus is on The Kid rather than Hubs. And any stress/anger/frustration I have gets taken out on Hubs. I hate it. I really do. And I’m trying very hard to change that. The Wakefield lines haunt me because I know that if I keep pushing Hubs away, eventually, he’ll stay away, no matter how much he loves me. And that, honestly, breaks my heart. I have loved him since I met him 23 years ago. He is my favorite person in the world (aside from The Kid), and I don’t know what I’d do without him.
Several years ago, pre-Kid, my therapist warned me that marital satisfaction declines after having a child. I didn’t believe her. Or, at least, I thought that our relationship could withstand anything. Well, she was right. And it’s totally fixable, and it’s mostly up to me. I need to find my ability to relax again. I need to re-find my ability to not sweat the small stuff. I’m working on it.
This morning, I came across the tidbit that otters hold hands so that they don’t drift apart while sleeping. Here’s proof, y’all:
I’ve decided that Hubs and I need to hold hands more. Don’t we all?
*Sorry. I’m watching Octonauts on Disney Jr. and this is stuck my head. If you haven’t seen the show…well, I envy you.