Well. This week sucked.
After my last post, I was starting to try to re-frame my thinking (thanks, Laura!) to focus on being a mom and keeping my body healthy for my baby. All of the things I want to accomplish will still be there after I give birth. I also decided to start making more of an effort with my appearance — I’ve been stuck in a jeans & sweater rut for months! I ordered some sweet new maternity clothes from Old Navy, and made a pact with myself to shave my legs at least twice a week (thanks to Cyndi!). So, things were looking up.
And then at 1:30am on Wednesday, I woke up in pain. With THE pain. The one that signals that my guts have exploded. I got up, took a warm bath, and hoped that it would go away. It didn’t. So, I woke up The Hubs, called my mom, and when she arrived to watch The Kid, we headed to the hospital.
This experience was much different than my past two hospital stays. This time, the immediate concern was for the baby, so they whisked me up to the maternity ward. While I signed in, I was parked in a wheelchair next to the nursery. That’s when it hit me — that I could lose the baby. Of course, I started sobbing. So embarrassing. They did some tests, an ultrasound, and checked the baby’s heartbeat. All good, thankfully. We only saw the head on the ultrasound (they were more concerned with looking at my cervix than Kid2), and it looked like a girl head. Or a boy. I’m not sure.
Once they concluded that the pain wasn’t related to the baby, they assumed it’s diverticulitis, and sent me home with meds. They couldn’t do a CT Scan because I’m pregnant, so it was a “hope for the best” situation. Kind of weird, but I went with it. I went home, rested the best I could, and took my meds. There’s still some pain today, but it’s better. I have an appointment with my colon Dr. on Tuesday afternoon. I’m pretty sure he’s going to insist on surgery after I give birth. Fun.
Now, I’m terrified to eat. I’m VERY lucky that there wasn’t an infection. If that happens, bad things could happen. But I won’t think about that. I just have to make it through the next 5 months, give birth, and then my guts can do whatever they want. I pulled out my food tracker today, and I’m going to track fiber, water, and my bowel movements (fun, right?). My focus has to be on staying as healthy as possible so that there are no complications.
The other thing I really need to work on is staying positive. I’ve been in such a funk lately, and that’s led to some pretty miserable days. I need to remember the good things in life, and focus on believing in myself.
I’ll leave you with this song. It reminds me that no matter what, I’m a pretty lucky gal, and it’s really all up to me in the end.