My Super Secret Project

Sorry I haven’t been writing much lately.  I’m having a tough time.  I shouldn’t be.  But I am.

See, a month ago, I was getting my mojo back.  I was exercising, tracking my food, getting ready for the holidays, and I had a job offer (PT, but a great gig) from a college I’ve wanted to work at for years.  As I was trying to figure out my schedule and how this new job would work with my other ones, and my life as a mom, a little voice said, “take a test.”  No, not a test to see if I had the right career, or what I should do to optimize my time.  A pregnancy test.  Now, this made no sense because I felt fine, my period was due the next day, and I wasn’t trying to get pregnant. But once I heard that voice, I had to take a test.

It was positive.

I immediately burst into tears (happy and freaked out), and called The Hubs.  I should’ve waited until he was home from work, but I had to tell him.  And my sister and my family.  They were all cautiously excited, but nervous because of my issues with diverticulitis.

You see, if I have a serious attack that includes a perforation, bad things could happen.  Things that I don’t want to think about right now.

So, I’ve spent the past month getting used to being pregnant again.  I had to put my weight loss on hold, which completely depressed me.  I know it’s for a good reason, but it’s so hard to sit back while everyone else is moving forward.  I know that Weight Watchers will be there for me after I’ve had the baby.  I know that I can continue to eat healthy and exercise while I’m pregnant.  It’s important for me to do so for the baby and my guts.  But I’m so used to tracking and thinking in weight loss mode that I’ve had to abandon tracking altogether and just…well, wing it.  Which works sometimes, and other times, it doesn’t.

The Kid is almost 2 years old, and I know that a sibling will be good for him, but I’m worried about how the family dynamics will change.  I’m worried about how I’ll juggle two kids, when sometimes I can’t even handle one.  I worry about my marriage; The Hubs and I barely have any time to focus on us, we’re so involved with work and The Kid.

It sounds like I’m complaining, doesn’t it?  I don’t mean to.  I really am excited (and terrified).  It just threw me for a loop.  I have to adjust my plans for this entire year.  I wanted to focus on losing weight, running, and getting healthy, not gaining back the weight I lost.  But everything happens for a reason, and I’m sure there’s a reason why The Powers That Be decided that it was time for me to have a second child.

I was going to wait until after my first ultrasound tomorrow, but I don’t want to wait anymore.  I’ve been avoiding blogging and tweeting because I was afraid I’d spill the beans.

So, that’s where I’ve been!  I promise I won’t be so silent anymore.

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About JessieB

Just a 30-something girl trying to figure it all out. I write about weight loss, books, motherhood, life, and whatever is on my mind.
This entry was posted in motherhood, pregnancy and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to My Super Secret Project

  1. Debbie says:

    Congratulations to you and your family. I know it must feel tricky, but you are right. Weight Watchers is not going anywhere. And your can use what you’ve learned to eat well for you and your baby. I know that if I got pregnant right now my pregnancy would look alot different than my others, and so would my after-baby eating. At least that’s my hope. Enjoy your new adventure!

  2. Momma Hunt says:

    Yeah so excited for you!!!!!!!! I get so excited when someone is expecting!! Can’t wait to hear about your journey hope you are feeling well

  3. Sara says:

    Ohh! Congratulations!!!

  4. ROBIN says:

    it’s good to hear from you… and congrats to you and your family!

  5. Lindsay says:

    Jessie, congrats! I am just checking into your blog as you are my new foodie penpal. While I know that you are nervous about adding another child to the bunch, I know that things will work out and you are receiving a blessing.

  6. Naomi says:

    Hi! Im a newbie to your blog. Congratulations! I just found out Im pregnant with baby #2 as well, and I am having the exact same feelings you are. I am so happy and look forward to this new baby, but at the same time I feel depressed. Like you, my goal was to lose weight. I planned for 25 pounds, and now I can’t rather I’ll be gaining weight. I feel horrible for thinking so selfish, after all nobody forced me to have unprotected sex lol.
    Do you have a workout plan that you still plan to follow? I am going to try to exercise at least 3 times a week and am going to try my hardest to healthy. I am so scared to gain weight, I already feel like a whale!

    • Thanks for reading! And congratulations on your #2! Isn’t it interesting how we feel so selfish for trying to take care of ourselves?

      Honestly, I haven’t exercised in weeks! Over the summer, I was walking 3-5 miles per day (my son slept in the stroller while we walked!), and felt great! Then the semester started, and I did some Leslie Sansone and Richard Simmons videos. And then I found out that I was pregnant and became a slug. I’ve only gained 6lbs so far, but my belly already looks pregnant. I’ve heard that happens much faster after the first child. I really need to start taking better care of myself. My goal is to only gain 30lbs, but we’ll see. I gained 40 with my first child.

      Do you have a blog?

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