I’m on Spring Break this week, but there’s really no break. I’m still getting up early (thanks to The Kid), grading papers, and prepping for classes. A colleague and I are presenting at a conference on Friday, so I’m getting ready for that, too. I’m envious of everyone who actually gets to enjoy their breaks. But I shouldn’t complain; at least I have a job.
In other news, last week, I wanted to break up with Weight Watchers. I’m tired of counting Points+ (though I’ve been half-assing it), planning out meals (half-assing that, too), etc. I’ve been a member of WW around 10 times in the past 10 years or so, and I’ve NEVER made it to my 10% goal. I always give up right before I do, then gain all the weight back (and then some).
But, like a good girl, I went to my meeting Saturday morning and re-dedicated myself. Sort of. I’ve been tracking everything, but I’ve blown through my points AND my weeklies, thanks to a birthday party for The Kid on Saturday and my lack of control. I feel like a failure. And I kind of want to quit. But I won’t. I hope.
I’m trying so hard to stay positive. I’m trying to set attainable goals, remind myself why it’s important to lose the weight and get healthy, but…ugh. When I’m stressed out, food makes it better. When I’m on mom-duty, which is pretty much CONSTANTLY, I can’t just go work out, or paint my nails, or do much of anything to distract myself from the stress. So, I turn to food, like I’ve done for years. It feels good (sometimes) while I’m eating it, and then I regret it. And, I start the cycle of vowing to be “good” at the next meal, and sometimes I am. Sometimes, not so much.
So, the question becomes, what do I do when I’m stressed/depressed/angry and I’m trapped, unable to turn to anything aside from food?